Thus far

Surprise I am pregnant!
Well, I am 10 weeks pregnant and I have had quite the run of things so far!! We started trying for number 2 in November after a crappy endometreosis diagnosis! I was quite convinced it was going to happen really fast this time but 6 months later we got the exciting news on April 29! But, for me the first couple weeks are really important! Most people's bodies start producing extra progesterone as soon as they get pregnant, but my body does quite the opposite! It stops making any so within 4-5 week range I need to start supplementing progesterone! I excitedly began my progesterone the day after we found out! I jumped online and found a due date calculator and got the edd of dec 31!
I went in for my first u/s on may 6 and there was NOTHING! They of course explained that my due date is most likely different than we assumed and scheduled another u/s one week later! That whole week I worry myself sick about the ghost baby (as we called it)! I came up with every possibility of what could be wrong! And to make this week even crazier we had two birthdays and mothers day!! It was a long week! The night before my next appt. I had Scott give me a blessing and it was very comforting! We were both very confident in whatever the outcome was, until the u/s... There was still nothing! This time they checked my hcg levels on 2 different days to make sure they were doubling as they should. It was another really long week! I had pretty much convinced myself there was no baby. Another u/s one week later and finally we saw a sweet baby and a very fast heartbeat! It was such a breath of fresh air. I started feeling nauseated a couple of days before the ultrasound so I had a really good feeling about. They gave me a due date of Jan 12 which is way later than I had anticipated but I am still excited!!
We started to celebrate!! I left for Utah that Tuesday and had a great vacation. I got really sick that Friday and had the doctor call me in some meds on Saturday. I flew to Chicago to meet Scott Sunday morning and we had a great trip. The Thursday of our trip I started cramping and spotting. I got really nervous but kept telling myself that it was from all the walking we were doing and my body wasn't used to that much. Well, I kept my nerves calmed and we came home that Sunday. The spotting continued but it was very light so I decided not to call the Dr.. The cramping, however, was not light and continued almost constantly. I had an appt. on June 9th so I decided to speak with my Dr. about it on that day. That day came slowly since all I could do was lay in bed and try to ignore the nausea that was almost unbearable. I get to the office and find out that I will only be seeing the nurse, but decided to tell her everything that was happening. She scheduled me for an u/s the next day. I was glad that I was going to get some reassurance and get to see my baby again (but keep in mind this is my 5th u/s and I am only 10 weeks). The u/s was first thing in the morning and sure enough there was a beautiful bean inside me still with a precious little heartbeat. The u/s technician showed me the baby and the heart rate and told me it was growing as it should and everything was great. Then she started measuring something again. I ignored it and got ready to go home with great news, but as I asked the office staff if I could leave they showed me back to the Dr.'s personal office. I knew I was not going back there for happy news about my little bean. He walked in kindly asked how everything was going told me the baby looked good, but there is a tear on my placenta. That's right a tear on my placenta. Have you ever even heard of such a thing?!?! I hadn't. He put me on partial bedrest and ordered another u/s for June 24th. I was completely destroyed physically and emotionally. I couldn't even imagine going to bedrest this early, and I felt like I got another slap in the face. But the diagnosis has not changed.
I was at the office again yesterday with another scare, but this time it doesn't seem to be anything. I had really bad cramping on the way home from visiting Elaina and Clara at the hospital and it lasted a good hour. Then the next morning I was really weak, blacked out, threw up some blood, and could hardly hold my head up. I went into the dr. that afternoon and he took some blood from me and told me to stay down almost completely. I am to only take care of Siena's basic needs everything else is to be ignored!! I'm nervous about everything at this point. I keep thinking that there is never going to be a time that I can tell people I'm pregnant because it's so risky. I'm hoping that the tear will heal itself, but I have stopped myself from attaching to it at all because I am so scared. I need lots of prayers for my strength at this point. I am emotionally dead and physically drained. I just hope to get through each day and take it all as it comes!! I will post tomorrow when I hear back about my blood test results!!
I am excited to announce that I am pregnant again, but understandably a little on the nervous side!! Hopefully the end of December we will have a beautiful baby to bring home from the hospital!!!